Sympathy vs. Empathy
Sympathy: feelings of pity and sorrow for someone else's misfortune.
Empathy: the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.
My usual articles focus on communication and efficiency but today is somewhat different. I’m going to offer some life advice that comes from 35 years in practice.
By all means be sympathetic to your patients but if you are empathetic it will wear you out.
Many patients, especially if they have pain or big problems expect a sympathetic approach. They want a practitioner who understands where they are coming from and treats them kindly.
They want sympathy and rightly so.
But, where it can go wrong for the doctor is when they go beyond a sympathetic approach and actually take on the feelings of the patient.
With empathy, you don’t just understand what the patient is going through, you also feel what they are feeling. That is the crucial difference between empathy and sympathy.
I’ve seen excellent dentists completely worn down and tired out by empathy.
Empathy will wear you out.
If, every time a distressed patient comes in, you share those feelings it will drain you physically and emotionally.
By all means be sympathetic to patients. Engage with them and be attentive to their needs. Listen and understand. Help them.
Just don’t cross the line where you start to feel what they are feeling.
A senior colleague who passed away a few years ago put it this way:
Patients want a doctor with grey hair and haemorrhoids. Grey hair for the look of wisdom and haemorrhoids for the look of concern.
Of course that is tongue in cheek but I’m sure you get the message.
Taking on a patient’s emotions won’t help them or you and ultimately it will burn you out.
Sympathy not empathy is the way to go.
